


We're only human after all

by daydreamingstoryteller



Series: I'm Not Okay. But I Will Be. [2]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Barry is a mess of emotions, Canonical Character Death, Cisco is a good bro, F/M, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Lisa is a good sis, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Secret Relationship, Sibling Love, basically len is dead cus of the occulus, idk where this is going but i'll deal with it as i go, past-Coldflash, pre-Cisco/Lisa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2018-09-27 03:25:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9950219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daydreamingstoryteller/pseuds/daydreamingstoryteller
Summary: After defeating the Dominators, Cisco goes to a bar for a much needed drink or two and runs into an old friend.ORCisco and Lisa bond over their brothers, Len and Barry's relationship and drinks.





	1. Cisco

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so i was never planning on continuing the first work but I ran into a post on tumblr and I got inspired to write a follow up. This is the first chapter of what I hope is a three part fic but we'll see how it goes. Basically it's Cisco's reactions to the things that happened in the first fic. It can be confusing to read as a standalone so I recommend you to read the previous fic if you haven't done so already. :) :)
> 
> Btw the title is from the song "Human" by Rag'n'Bone Man

Cisco was sitting alone at some random bar. He probably would have been able to remember the name of the place if he had actually looked at it when he came in. He didn’t. He just found the nearest bar that was still open and headed straight in for the counter. He just left the ‘We-saved-the-world-from-aliens’ celebration party. He waited until Kara left for her own world –to make sure she got home safe- before leaving the rest of his friends in the warehouse. He didn’t care if he was being rude. He didn’t care of he was needed for some other reason. The rest could handle the night without him. Heck, they had Barry and Wally for fast clean-up so even that wasn’t much of a problem. He just couldn’t stand to be there right now. He would have gone straight home but he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep all that well tonight. Besides, he needed a drink. Actually, after these past few days of drama, Cisco figured he needed at least five strong drinks.

It had been hard at the party. It had been really difficult for Cisco to not give in to the urge of drinking himself into oblivion. He knew that his alcohol tolerance was not that high. If he had started to drink then, he would have gotten drunk fast and drunkenly started to ramble about his feelings. God forbid, he might have even started to yell or cry and no one needed to see that. They were supposed to be happy and celebrating another victory. They were supposed to make jokes, laugh and catch up with each other’s crazy lives. They shouldn’t have to deal with Cisco’s problems. That would only sour everyone’s mood. No. They should get to be happy for a while after everything that had happened.

So, Cisco didn’t drink (well not anything with alcohol), and made small talk while faking smiles and cracking jokes. Slowly one by one, people started to leave. Cisco couldn’t slip away before Kara left, in case she needed help getting back – though honestly Cisco was confident his invention would work – so he ended up staying until only Team Arrow, Sara and part of Team Flash remained.  Once he got the chance, he left immediately. That’s how he ended up here. A dimly lit bar that reminded Cisco of La La Land’s “Seb’s”. There was even jazz music playing in the background from all the speakers.

 _‘Huh. Should really get the name of this place. Maybe come again another time….’_  Cisco thought as he nursed his drink. He came here with the intention of getting drunk but even he knew how stupid it would be to do that in an unfamiliar bar without a proper way home. He guessed he could always call Barry to come pick him up - since Barry was still sleeping at his apartment – but that would mean actually facing Barry. And honestly, the last thing Cisco needed right now was being around Barry. Cisco didn’t hate his friend, not really. However, after Barry’s breakdown and their subsequent “talk” he knew that both Barry and he needed time to cool off.

Cisco still needed time to wrap his head around everything that happened. He had thought that Barry considered him a best friend. He thought that Barry trusted him enough to tell him important things. But apparently, Barry didn’t trust him as much as he had thought. Barry had had a _boyfriend_. Scratch that, _Captain Cold_ ~~was~~ had been his Barry’s boyfriend. The guy that had kidnapped him and his brother and tortured him had been dating his best friend for months and he hadn’t known. Cisco hated that he didn’t notice it. In hindsight it was stupidly easy to see. Barry had started to smile differently after Christmas. Not more, not necessarily, but he smiled a little bit brighter and laughed a lot easier. At least until Zoom popped up again. Even then though, Barry seemed more hopeful than Cisco thought he would have been. He supposes that having a stable and loving partner could do that to you.

 _‘Stable and loving - never thought I’d ever use those words to describe Snart in my entire life but here we are’_ he muses.  His mind drifts back to the events of the day. When he practically yelled and shouted at Barry to get him to stay.

 

_“How are you so sure that I deserve [forgiveness]?” Barry asked, afraid of what the answer might be._

_“Because I learnt from you that everyone deserves forgiveness.  And if anyone deserves it, it’s you Barry. We’ll forgive you soon man - all of us, if we haven’t already. But you also have to start forgiving yourself. Do it for Leonard if not for us. Forgive yourself Barr.”_

 

Cisco had meant what he said to Barry; meant every word of it. They all needed Barry with them, in Central City. They cared about him and they would forgive him in time. Cisco knew that he too would eventually forgive Barry. But he just couldn’t do it right now. The pain of losing his brother was still too fresh, and still too raw. He was still grieving and finding out that not only had Barry changed the timeline - probably accidentally causing his brother’s death – but had also kept very important things from him really hurt Cisco. He had major trust issues thanks to Eobard Thawne but he always had trusted Barry with everything. To learn that Barry didn’t trust him in return made him feel like he was unwanted. Logically he knew why Barry kept the secrets he had kept, of course he knew. Hell, if Barry hadn’t kept the relationship a secret, there would have been some serious shit going down in both the West family and the team.

It doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt though.

Barry had hurt Cisco in a way that left him both wanting to never see Barry again and yet wanting to sit him down and talk through both of  their emotional baggage. Because honestly, both of them were hurting and they needed each other right now. Cisco really wants to help his friend who is obviously still grieving from his lover’s death. Yet, he knows he can’t properly be there for him until he’s able to forgive Barry for everything else. He’s trying though. Cisco is trying his best to look past what Barry had done to him but he knows it’s going to take time. And they’ll have the time – in the days and weeks to come – to figure things out. So for now, Cisco’s going to just stay here, in this random bar, drinking a few drinks and trying to get his emotions under control.

Or well, that’s what he had planned to do until a once-familiar voice calls out from behind him, “Is this seat taken”?


	2. Mending What's Broke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A heart to heart with the most unlikely friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, Sorry it's been more than a year (almost two). I'm not super excited with the ending but I am happy with this. It's not the ending I pictured when I started writing this, but this is where it's gotten to and I feel like this is it for now. There is a very slight possibilty that I might rework this in the future but most likely I wont. Sorry bout the wait ><
> 
> All mistakes are mine (pls point them out!) and this might be OOC and very very dialogue heavy so sorry for that too ^^ Hope you still like it though!
> 
> (I said this was gonna be Lisa's POV but it isn't anymore.)

Cisco went still. That was a voice he hadn’t heard in a very long time, but he’d recognize that honey drawn drawl anywhere. It was a Snart signature after all. Without looking up from his drink, Cisco motioned to the seat beside him. “It’s all yours.” He said.

A part of him was wondering whether this was a good idea. He had wanted to be alone for the night, with his thoughts. But another part of him, that was still desperately trying to wrap his head and heart around the new revelations wanted some company from someone who could potentially understand him right then. He heard her sit down and order a drink. He didn’t know how to start the conversation, so he kept quiet and let her make the first move.  

“Mick told me you fought Aliens today.” She started, after a couple of minutes.

“Yea. It would have been cooler if we weren’t fighting for our lives.” Cisco replied. Neither had turned to make eye contact. They were both looking at their drinks as they let the hum of the bar surround them.

“Metahumans, time-travellers and now aliens. Your life really gets weirder every week huh Cisco.”

Cisco chuckled lightly at that. “Yea. Ten-year-old me would have gone crazy with joy at all of this.”

“You really are a sci-fi nerd aren’t you? Vibe?”

“You’re gonna tell me that you weren’t Glider? Cisco quipped back. His mood was getting slightly better as he continued to talk to the female Snart. But his last question somehow made her pause. He noticed her hands clenching tighter around her drink but didn’t mention it. He waited for her to continue.

“Lenny was the nerd, between the two of us.” She whispered. “He was the one who loved to read comics about superheroes and time travellers, back when…before.”

Cisco was surprised at her words, that he finally turned around to the side and looked at her incredulously. “Really? Captain Cold was a comic book and sci-fi nerd?” He squeaked.

Lisa laughed at his expression. “Well, why else did you think he willingly got onto a timeship? I know my brother Cisco. With or without The Flash’s influence he would have gotten onto that damn ship. I mean, it was a time machine. That was like his childhood fantasy come to life. Not that he’d ever show or mention it to anyone.” She explained, her laughter slowing into a tired and worn smile.

Cisco’s raised his eyebrows at that. He was surprised but also curious.

“Did you…know?” He asked.

For a moment, Lisa didn’t know what he was talking about, but then looking at the expression on his face, something clicked.

“About Lenny boning your friend? Yea I did. I still don’t know who he is though. Lenny would never tell me because of that stupid deal he made.”

“Huh.” Cisco quietly huffed. He finished his drink and ordered another. “I think it was more serious than just sex, Glider. At least for Ba- The Flash.”

 “Oh, it was serious for my brother too. I just never realized how serious until he – until he was gone.”

“What do you mean?” Cisco probed gently.

“The Lenny I knew, the Leonard Snart from before…all of this, would have never sacrificed himself for other people.”

“I think he would have for you.”

“For me? Yea. But for Mick? For a bunch of random people and for the sake of saving everyone? He wouldn’t have. He never thought of himself as a hero. He didn’t even think he had anything good about him other than being a criminal.”

“But?”

“But that was only until your friend came speeding along into his life and well, his heart.”

Cisco tried to imagine the person she was talking about. He tried to picture Leonard Snart, not as Captain Cold, but as his best friend’s caring, loving boyfriend and as Lisa’s nerdy older brother. He couldn’t really picture it. “I didn’t think they meant this much to each other.” He said.

“I didn’t either. I should have known. I should have realized the moment Lenny started to smile more and started to cook, and clean and… I should have realized it wasn’t just sex. But I didn’t. And now, I can’t help but wish I was there to see my brother fall in love.”

Cisco didn’t know what to say. This was all completely out of his comfort zone and before then, he never expected that he’d be having a heart to heart with Lisa Snart. Before he could reply with something, she continued.

“Sometimes I hate them both for what they had. Their relationship cost me my big brother. He was the only big brother I had. Sure, he was a jerk and a thief and an asshole most of the times, but he was always good to me. If he hadn’t been dating The Flash, then he might still be here. So, I really wish I could hate the two of them.”

“But you can’t.”

“How could I hate something that made my brother so happy Cisco? I’ve never seen him this happy ever. In all my life. He was content with his life, in whatever little time he had with the Flash. How could I hate that?” Her voice wobbled. Cisco only then realized that she’d had over four drinks. He could tell that she was getting tipsy, but he didn’t want to say anything in fear of overstepping.

Still, he wanted to make her feel better and he did the only thing he could think of doing. He reached over and grabbed her into a hug.

He could feel her stiffen, and still in his arms. He let his arms hang loosely around her in case she wanted to break the hug, but after a couple of seconds he felt her lean into him and hug him. When they finally broke apart, they stayed staring into each other’s eyes. There was a mutual understanding between them, and neither wanted to break it.

 

“I don’t know if you’ll believe me but, I get it.” Cisco uttered into the silence between them. “I only found out today, but looking back, I could see how much Snart meant to him.”

“Yea?”

“Well, The Flash always used to look lonely. He always carried the weight of the worlds on his shoulder and no matter how much we tried being there for him, he was just always sad. Yet, for some time in the last months, he looked like he wasn’t drowning in pain and responsibility. He started to eat more, and even started to be on time for things. That really should have clued me in but well, I guess I wasn’t that great of a best friend.”

“Cisco, it’s not your fault. They kept it a secret for a reason.”

“Yea well, I really should have noticed something was up when he was drowning in grief these past few months. God I can’t believe I missed it!” He grunted, as he ran a hand through his messy curls. “I was too angry with him to actually talk to him and I just …..”

“Why were you angry with him?”

“Because he-“

“Cisco?”

“Let’s just say that you aren’t the only one who wants to hate them for what they had okay? I sort of, lost my brother too. And it may or may not be because of something Flash did after he lost Snart.”

“Sounds like a hell of a story. I’m here to listen if you need it Cisco.”

“It’s a long one.”

“The night’s still young.” Lisa whispered encouragingly as she slowly placed her hand on top of Cisco’s. She squeezed his hand encouragingly as she said, “It’s the least I could do after you listened to me ramble for so long.”

Cisco looked at their joined hands.

“You can trust me.” Lisa promised.

Cisco looked back up at the woman sitting next to him, and he could only see a sister grieving for her big brother. He could only see a kindred soul and one that might possibly understand him and his situation. He made up his mind and took a deep breath.

“Sure. But I did warn you. It’s long and we might be here all night.”

Lisa smiled. “That’s fine by me.”

And for the first time since the Alien Invasion started, Cisco felt like he could breathe.

Hence, there they sat, throughout the night, talking, crying, laughing, smiling and joking. They sat there as they hesitatingly mended their hearts, with a silent, unspoken promise of starting afresh tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished up Chapter 2 for September WIP Wk Day 1.

**Author's Note:**

> So there's the first chapter. Idk when the next one will be up but it would be from Lisa's pov. I apologize for any mistakes I've made and if the characters seem OC. Still getting a hang of the writing thing.  
> ((Comments are my favourite thing in the world btw)) :) :)
> 
> Inspired by: tinymintywolf.tumblr.com/image/156923424778 (go check out their art, it is really amazing!<3)


End file.
